Baywatch (2017) Review

By Ian Crow

Slow motion running, tight red swimming suits, Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff. 90’s America became obsessed with the hit TV show based around a lifeguard group in LA. Soon that obsession spread worldwide and it became one of the most iconic TV shows around. Very much in its time, Baywatch is a 90’s TV show through and through. Even though proving popular on TV, it never quite made the jump to the big screen. It took someone over 25 years to finally give it its big shot and it’s honestly not worth the wait. Even with big names like Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron fronting the cast, they’re not enough for this lifeless and super predictable ‘comedy’.

Baywatch is kind of what you expect it to be, a bunch of people running around on the beach doing what no other lifeguard would ever do and look ridiculously over the top doing it. The one thing I really didn’t expect to see from a film like this is the over excessive use of CGI. It almost feels like that every single item or backdrop in this film is CGI apart from the cast. The annoying part about the overuse of CGI is that it’s completely avoidable. They use it at parts that really don’t need it; it almost feels like they couldn’t find any location that would fit a beach description. Either the director is extremely lazy that he had to use CGI ALL the time or the location scout for the film should be fired from films all together. The majority of the film looks like one of those really terrible movies you see on the Syfy channel. It looks extremely amateurish and cheap. If I had honestly paid for the ticket to see it, I would of felt cheated of my hard earned money. It even gets to the point where helicopters, fire and a casual backdrop when the main cast are eating lunch is CGI’d!

Onto the cast and this is going to frustrate me to say, but Dwayne Johnson, what are you doing man? I thought he stopped agreeing to make horrifically bad movies? After The Tooth fairy, he has been pretty solid and makes a real name for himself, but this seems completely off. Maybe he has finally hit that stumbling block now knowing he can’t make certain movies. Baywatch is the stumbling block people and it was almost cringe worthy to watch sometimes because for me, this is not Dwayne Johnson, he can do so much better than this. I honestly feel he has undermined himself by having himself in this film and the fact that he announced he wants to make a franchise from Baywatch is cocky beyond words. Next up, my favourite actor of all-time (I’m joking) Zac Efron. The talentless six packed heartthrob continues to make the worst movies. I don’t dislike him because of the terrible movies he makes; I hate the fact that he only sells himself as a product for girls to feast their eyes on. And he continues to play the arrogant, macho asshole as he does in all his movies. He has no variety to his work and a clear lack of ambition over the past few years. My dislike for him may fade as he has just signed up to play Ted Bundy so watch this space.

There’s not a lot to love or like about Baywatch. It’s a sloppy, cheesy, over the top, unfunny, embarrassing, lack of re-watch ability Hollywood trash. Man, I’ve actually come to dislike this film a lot more since I’ve seen it. Personally, it’s a concept that’s so stuck in its time that it just doesn’t work now. People aren’t interested to see girls run around in tight costumes on the big screen and come across as braindead. I’m guessing the people involved have no dignity or class to come across as decent actors. All they have is their bodies to put up on show throughout a two hour running time. Baywatch just isn’t for me, it lacks any comedic element to its roots and without that all you have is a bunch of people trying their hardest to look sexy on screen. 1 out of 5 stars.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s