Fifty Shades of Grey Review

The worldwide phenomenon, mummy-porn, Twilight fan fiction, erotic drama; it doesn’t matter what you label it, either way, it’s going to be a humungous hit at the box-office and will send peoples pulses through the roof, especially if you’re a fan of the books.  Before its first day on general release worldwide, ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is breaking box-office records which include the biggest ever release in America for a R rated film and it broke Empire Cinemas all-time pre-sales record in the UK which is an incredible feat when you take into account the quality of films and huge blockbusters that have come out in the last decade or so. Ultimately, the final word on whether the film has been a success will be at the box-office and I can tell you that it will obviously be a huge hit, and personally, may well be one of the biggest hits of this year. The critics review haven’t been kind, and neither will I.
‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ follows two characters, Anastasia Steele who is a college student in her last year and fast approaching graduation who is given the job of interviewing Christian Grey, who is a self-made billionaire who runs his own business by her sick roommate who can’t make the interview. Anastasia Steele goes to interview Christian Grey to discover that he is a very young and handsome businessman, to which they immediately hit it off, but she feels very intrigued by this mystery man. Effectively, by means of story-telling, that’s about where it ends, within the first 15 minutes. Throughout the rest of the running time of just over two hours, we are graced with the worst acting I have seen in a very, very long time. Incredibly, both Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson knock Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson off their lustrous perch of worst acting duo. If I’m being completely honest, Dakota Johnson isn’t awful, but its Jamie Dornan’s performance of Christian Grey which pins her to her demise. Christian Grey as a character is actually an interesting character, after doing my research and clearing up some problems that I couldn’t decipher, Christian Grey as a character is absolutely broken; abused from a young age and being brought up by a ‘crack whore’ mother, you would expect to see at least some decent and potentially moving acting by Jamie Dornan, but he fails to show an ounce of emotion throughout the film. I actually think he is trying way, way too hard to become mysterious, but what he has actually done, is come across looking confused throughout.

‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is beautifully shot, and that’s about all the credit I’m going to give it, and that’s the least I expect from Sam Taylor-Johnson, who doesn’t have the biggest resume, but it does include the brilliant British indie film ‘Nowhere Boy’. My love for that film is huge, and it angers me that she Sam Taylor-Johnson has kind of ‘sold out’ by taking this ridiculously easy job, to which you don’t have to even bother by making it good, you just know you’re going to get an easy payday at the end of it.

Ultimately, the film is below average; the acting is garbage, and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen better acting in a real pornographic movie. Not being a fan or reader of the book, I wasn’t ever completely excited when the film was announced or the lead up to the release, but personally, I think fans of the book will be majorly disappointed with the film adaptation. ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is an awkward, soft porno that will excite the middle aged mums this Valentine’s Day but others will come out a little disappointed. 2 out of 5 stars.

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